Kiri crawls, We acquire a house, etc., etc.

Okay, don’t fall out of your chair with the shock that I’m finally here. I really intended to write, I wanted to write, I needed to write…but apparently blogging falls lower on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Yes, I’ve definitely been groveling abiding in the lowest parts of the pyramid.

Did you enjoy all the blog posts I’ve written in my head the past few weeks?

Me too.

They were remarkably entertaining, informative, anecdotal. And thanks to a few notes jotted down while doing dishes, they weren’t all immediately lost. No, I jotted them down, and then lost them.

(Did you ever hear that old joke about the preacher visiting the old woman? He said, “Ma’am, do you ever think about the here after?”

She replied, “Oh, I think about it all the time. I go into a room and think, ‘What am I here after?’”

I resonate.)

:: Kiri is Crawling

Kiri is in that short-lived but delightful stage where the messes she makes are still just so cute. She spent a number of weeks getting ready to crawl, having has mastered the art of going from her stomach into a sitting position and back again. And in doing so she became quite mobile, getting many places….unfortunately just not usually in the direction she wished to go.

I’m pleased to say she finally figured it all out just before her 9th ‘month-day’ just the cutest little crawling bug. She’s working on her distance crawling now.

:: BIG NEWS!!

Hey, we’re buying a house! Or, we’ve bought a house! Or, we’re supposed to get the keys this week! Or, apparently I can’t sign my name in a consistent manner because the escrow officer had to ask me to keep my signature the same from paper to paper. And it freaked me out, because apparently the more attention you put to your signature, the more unpredictable it becomes. Twitch here, cross a t here but not there. Ai.

Yes, I think we’ve been actively looking for almost four years. Anyone need a realtor? We can vouch for ours, she’s amazing. And very patient.

Now I’m fighting off apprehension. At this point in our family history, I can’t accomplish anything more than caring for the children and very basic house cleaning (or should I say, picking up, the word cleaning would be misleading). Painting, cleaning, moving. I canna do none of it.

Actually, I thought that the burst of energy would somehow sweep aside the current reality of baby + toddler and I would become an Accomplishing Machine.

Let us all now laugh.

Actually, I didn’t laugh. More like gnashing of teeth. With a bit of indigestion. (Sunday we started working on projects — well, Devo worked like an Accomplishing Machine. It took me an hour to get the breakfast dishes done, and it all went downhill from there.)

Devo and I have a game plan. He’s going to do all the work to make the move happen while I care for the children and help for the five minutes here and five minutes there (never actually finishing a task). Then he’s going to care for the children while I do all the unpacking and settling in.

It’s a good plan.

The only buyer’s remorse I’ve experienced so far about our new house is that it is on the small side. But we like the layout and hey, less cleaning, less room to fill with unneeded stuff. We spent a couple of hours there on Monday during the home inspection and it feels just right. Cozy and sweet.

So, yay. Little jump of excitement. (Sorry, too tired to muster a wahoo and a leap for joy).

:: School News
Lia is taking her first standardized tests this week. Yes, we homeschool, but it’s a state requirement for our charter school. (And, by the way, I looooove Sky Mountain Charter School.)

I’ve spent a few weeks working through that uncomfortable place where my philosophy and my psychology meet.

She hasn’t learned a number of the concepts that were on the math test today.

Philosophically, that’s totally cool with me. We’re on a different curriculum. It’s very important that she masters each step before plunging into the next. The tests only test if you know what they ask, it doesn’t actually test your body of knowledge, etc.

Psychologically, I love knowing stuff on tests and getting good grades. And I’m thinking forward to that little meeting where our ES is going to (kindly and non-judgmentally) go over the test scores and how I can very possibly feel like a failure. Feel, being the operative word. Get over it, Leilani, says I.

Lia’s loving the test days, and I’m all agog at all the other homeschool families. Guess what, a lot of people have four or five children! And they all look like nice, normal, put together people!

:: Growing Up
Birthdays. Amelie is five, Levi is three. We now have added trains and a nerf basketball hoop to our possessions. I’m on a geometry kick, so it’s all about pattern blocks and tangrams right now.

Amelie started piano lessons. After her first lesson (she was so excited-nervous/nervous-excited) I asked her what was the easiest part of the lesson.

She said, “The exercises.”

What was the hardest part?

“Talking.”

Ohhhh, my shy little girl. She’s starting to enter the world bravely, bit by bit. I think it’s so important to honor her shyness (she who hid behind her hands for the first few years of her life) and let her come forth as she is ready. She was very very excited/nervous at her first few lessons, but not scared. It’s the right time.

She’s learned “Beethoven’s Ninth” for her first group class next week. She hasn’t said yet whether she will be performing in the end of the year recital.

:: Big Picture Needed
I’m feeling the need to take some time to envision what I want our family life to look like right now. I’ve kind of lost the big picture.

I’m feeling that life here has way too much cacophony and chaos recently. But I can’t tell if I’m just being over-sensitive or if there really do need to be some changes. Or both?

I do best when I have a clear picture of my ‘ideal world’. Then I can help the bits and pieces fall in line with that goodness.

It’s a funny thing. These days have definitely had that element of survival to them, just hang on and make it through. But at the same time there is also so much living in the moment, enjoying the sweet and amazing moments.

Hanging on and holding on, all at once.

feng shui, lent, birds

:: Today we carted off a pile of stuff from the garage floor.  It was a gigantic pile.  It was seriously messing up my feng shui.

We made three or four personal deliveries, and a whole trunk load for charity.

It’s the first time I’m not saving stuff “for the next baby”, so we are experiencing the joy of passing things on to others.  Freely we have received, freely give.

:: If I had been really brave, we would have carted off half of our furniture, too.  So tired of our tired old couch.  But as we like to sit all together snuggled and scrunched up, I kept it and managed to round up some goodwill towards it.

(Do you know how many ugly couches there are on craigslist?  Do you?)

:: My grandpa has been in and out of the hospital the last two months or so.  It’s hard being so far away.

:: Lent has started and I’ve decided to mark these days with prayer.  Didn’t start on time, don’t always remember, sometimes don’t even have a clear idea why I’m doing what (in more ways than one, haha), but still moving forward towards Holy Week and Easter.

:: My Whole Foods Online Workshop is in it’s fourth week now.  Truthfully, I’m feeling discouraged about how little I’ve been able to do with it.  I haven’t gotten to try hardly any of the recipes (haven’t been to the grocery store where we buy our fruits and vegetables…apparently in a month), haven’t gotten to really soak in the modules.  I haven’t even gotten to watch any of the videos all the way through.  (The kids have, though.)

This week I’m aiming to move past my discouragement and cultivate gratefulness to the box of fruits and veggies that arrives on my doorstep every Friday.  I may not have all the ingredients to make new and tantalizing recipes, but I do have good, healthy, organic food to cook with.  Lots of leafy greens this week.

:: We are continuing our study of birds for another week.  The girls and I are LOVING The Trumpet of the Swan.  It’s living up to all my childhood memories.  What a delightful story, and so fun to read aloud.

We’ve discovered a house sparrow’s nest in our neighbor’s eaves, and we can see it from our upstairs windows.

We’ve identified that the birds in our backyard are white crowned sparrows, winter visitors to the Inland Empire.

Most exciting, we saw a hummingbird’s courting display.  Up it zooms, high into the air, then swoops down.  Again and again.

I’m liking bird courtship study as an antidote to princess stories (in which the boy does the choosing).  In the bird world, the boys do acrobatics and sing beautiful songs, and the girls do the choosing.  No passive acceptance of fate here.

 

If I could give these last few weeks of mine a word it would be striving.  Putting in the extra energy and focus to get everyone settled into new habits (or resurrecting old habits), new rhythms.  Being on task all the time.  Working to keep my ducks in a row, or at least all going in the same general direction.

One morning this week, I woke up and decided it was time to work a little on letting it be a rhythm and not something requiring so much work.  Half an hour later I was laughing at myself because I had started five different parts of the morning routine and finished none of them.

I thought of Flylady who recommends getting back in bed and starting over again on train-wreck occasions.  But she doesn’t have four small children, and I do.  So I tipped my hat to her and started again, in order, with my mojo back in place like the little train that could.

And then I got hit with the stomach flu.  24 bug, thank goodness.  But it was enough to bring me and my routines and rhythms and strivings to a full stop.

Devo worked from home to help me out, and I spent quite a lot of time listening to my family.

I listened to them as Devo shepherded the kids through their morning routines.

I listened to the crash of our science experiment on the back porch.

I listened to the little hither and yons of small, busy people.

I thought about how the normal me would react and act.  And I thought about how all of that striving really doesn’t matter.

While at the same time it matters a whole lot.

Which isn’t any kind of a conclusion at all, if we’re looking for something conclusive.  But there you have it.

The full stop really came at a good time.  It had just become clear that several aspects of our new routine/rhythm simply weren’t working well.

::Three months ago, it would have been completely feasible to do ‘table school’ work with Levi playing happily nearby.  Right now?  Not working.  He’s in some gigantic developmental change and his whole little world is topsy turvy.  Which has made school hours hairy.  I’ve decided I must say (a rather wistful) adios to my after-lunch down time (Levi’s current napping time), and move his nap to the last hour of school time.

::For two years after lunch has been a resting and reading time for the girls.  Now?  After two weeks of enforcing resting and reading time, it is obvious that their internal clocks have changed.  When left to their own devices, after lunch now becomes playing quietly time.  I have moved from skeptical to baffled to resigned (it was such a nice part of the day).  Just haven’t figured out when resting and reading time is now.  After breakfast?

::And since when was 3pm crazy, bouncing off the walls time EVERY DAY?  Never, until the last month or two.   I’m so glad it’s cooling off and we can spend that time outside where there are no walls to bounce off of.

I’m looking forward to next week.  Trying some new things, being a little more relaxed, no puking.  It’s gonna be good.

Back in the saddle again

‘Twas my first day back to work, back in the saddle, back to regular life.  In other words, the End of Maternity Leave.  Devo went back to work today, and after almost three weeks of being cared for, listened to, and encouraged to take naps, I regarded his absence somewhat woefully.  It’s been awfully nice to recover with such a loving and thoughtful caregiver around…never a complaint when he was bustling around accomplishing things and all I could manage was to sit on the bed holding the baby and staring off into space.

But, hey, nothing like getting back into the swing of things like jumping right in. And as proof that concrete thoughts are beginning to emerge from the rather hazy and vague place that has been my mind recently, I offer some thoughts.

:: I’m dying to join this e-course, 30 Day Vegan, by my new favorite blogger.  But it just doesn’t seem like setting myself up for success to take an e-course when we’re right smack dab in the middle of adjusting to life with a new baby, plus starting back to school.

:: I’ve sent in the application to join a charter school.  <gulp> In return for someone looking over my homeschooling shoulder, we will get vouchers for buying supplies and paying for things like piano lessons.  I’m not sure how I’m going to like having to report our learning progress, but I hope it’s not too painful because wow we can use that money.

:: I’ve been quite pleased to find that my first impetus to do something “normal” post-baby has been to cook.  And cook healthy, whole food meals.  (Hence the longing after 30 Day Vegan).

:: I’ve been not quite so pleased to be bitten with the organizing bug.  It seems that every cupboard, every shelf, every drawer (that was so carefully organized just a few short months ago) is messy, cluttered, dirty, or simply no longer acceptable.  I can hardly figure out where to start.

The truth is, I think that it’s not really that the house is so disorganized (or cluttered, or messy, or dirty), but that we’ve outgrown the old life and I want to somehow make room for the reality of this new life.  This new life of being a family of six, a mother of four, the presence of a newborn.  And I’m not sure how to do that, but organizing and decluttering usually helps me to find my way.

:: But maybe why I haven’t started an organizing overhaul (other than plain common sense, which I’d like to think I still possess to some measure), is because what I really want to do is MOVE.  To start fresh.  In a home that has SUNLIGHT.  Ugh, we’ve lived in houses where the main living areas are dark for 8 years.  I’m tired of it.   I crave light and sunshine.  So much so that I actually feel physically better when I walk into our sunshiny bedroom.  Maybe it’s the hormones, but it’s bugging me more than usual.

:: We continue to look for a house.  I don’t talk about it much here because it’s rather dismal.  And repetitive.  After a couple of years, it’s the same old story.  Can’t find something that’s right for us.  Found something that’s right for us, put on our best offer, got rejected in favor of an investor with cash.  Repeat.  Sigh.

:: I’ve been having a hate affair with exclamation points recently.  Every email, every facebook post, every text message I consider the exclamation mark, glowering at it from under my brows.  I use them, I feel cheesy.  I don’t use them, I feel terse.  Can you be friendly and cheerful in print without the exclamation point?  (And is it an exclamation point or an exclamation mark? I see that I used both terms without thinking about it.)

:: I decided to buy an (over-priced) loaf of raisin bread today.  On the sly, for my personal evening snack.  I never buy it because you get like four slices for four dollars.  And then the store was out of raisin bread.  So now I have no evening snack.  Someday I will find a decent recipe (no, not cinnamon swirl bread, for which recipes abound) and then I will put a loaf in the freezer for moments like these.

:: I’m strongly considering a change in our daily “schedule”.  For the past year or so lunch has been our main meal, cooking either right after breakfast or right before lunch.  Today I served up ABJ (almond butter and jelly, with the almond butter freshly made in my food processor in mere minutes!) and green smoothies.  Didn’t even get out plates, the ABJ was served right on the table top.  And it was grand.  (What other foods are as simple and require as few dishes as PBJ/ABJ?)

With school days coming right up, I think I’d like to move the meal-that-requires-cooking to supper.  That will free us up to do all the things we’re “supposed to do” in the morning, leaving our afternoons fancy free.  I’m just curious if I will cook less due to general end of the day fatigue.

When do you do your main cooking, I wonder?

 

Full days

It’s been a whirlwind of a two weeks since I was last here.  I guess I was just too busy living, to borrow (and maybe send you to) Renee’s words.

Suddenly I’ve transitioned to the quiet, endless days of mid-pregnancy to The End, and the scramble to get things “ready”.  Although, the baby clothes that are sitting quietly in stacks on my dresser would not testify to any “scrambling” on my part.

And here I am, mid-morning (I almost said early morning, but then I looked at the clock), sneaking a few minutes to write when I really should be mopping the floor.  And no, I can’t put it off another day, we have company coming.

When it seems as though the whole world is putting school away and taking summer out, we are taking school out (and rejoicing that hot summer has not yet appeared).  We had taken somewhat of an extended spring break from school, and now we have launched into a summer session (which is going really well).

I’m working to get a good school routine going before the baby comes…with the idea that it will help us more easily take school back up after the baby comes.  Which I think is pretty logical.

These days are full.  Not hectic, but full.

 

 

Typewriter immediate update

Even Levi loves it!

The girls set it up on the kitchen counter and someone has been happily typing away most of the afternoon. They love to have me ‘read’ their compositions, but I must admit that my enthusiasm for reading (sounding out) them has waned as they have become more verbose.

Lia has discovered the fun of doing a bit of copywork…any nearby words are fair game. Pippi is a particularly fun word to type.

Typewriter for kids

After months of looking, today we came home from the church’s thrift shop with an old fashioned typewriter.

I have great plans for this little thing that has outlived its usefulness in the eyes of the world. Beyond the immediate joys of instant typing (something previously unknown to the computer generation in this house), I am hopeful for many words and letters and stories in the future.

<

Flu rhymes with…

Sick day here.  Sick day in a series of sick days. We down five for five now, and the days are long.  The nights are longer.

We are out of fresh fruits and vegetables, except for bananas, celery, lettuce, and spinach.  And lots of frozen berries.  I only made it to Costco this week before being felled.

Ever notice how much you don’t want salad when you’re sick?

Smoothies instead.  Put the spinach in the smoothie and we’re good to go.

We celebrated Valentine’s day by being sick…together.  Very romantic.

The benefit of the kids not feeling so great is that it is now acceptable to lay around all day, watching movies, napping, and taking it slow.  (Vs. “what are we going to do nowwwww, Mommy?”) Thank heaven this is our trial month with Netflix.  Getting our (money’s) worth.

On the subject of movies, we ordered and watched The Taming of the Shrew with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.  I was less than impressed, on a variety of levels.

I was alarmed to see Lia imitating “Katarina” (the shrew) after the first half hour of the movie.  We agreed that she must never pretend to be Katarina.  She agreed with me quite nicely, but I could sense she was disappointed.  It would be so fun to yell and say insulting things and throw things around and generally throw hissy fits, all in the name of Shakespearean study.

Playing Catch-up, as usual

Oh, for pity’s sake.  I haven’t been blogging because I had a stellar birthday that deserves a big post, complete with pictures.  But that’s too much for my post-children’s-bedtime self to handle.  And I must blog in chronological order!  Right?

In other words, I’ve suffered from another attack of perfectionism…get it all right, or not at all.  <sigh> I’ve killed the Big P monster time and again, but it crops up unexpectedly.

Perfectionism, I slay thee again!  Stab, stab.  Bury.

Things are ticking along here, peacefully.  I’m 15 weeks along now…Baby is the size of a navel orange.  Due to gestational appetite and inadequate exercise, I am increasing in width and breadth at a rather alarming rate…navel orange notwithstanding.

At least I’m growing symmetrically.  You could say that I’m <ahem> well-rounded.

Lia is still fascinated with Shakespeare.  We’ve only got one more renewal on our Shakespeare books at the library.  Then what will we do?  Ah, check them out with Lia’s card, that’s what.  Problem solved, check!

We watched Twelfth Night, but I decided against Much Ado About Nothing for the girls.  Too earthy, I think, for their tender years.  I, however, watched it almost twice. We’ve read books about the Elizabethan era, and Shakespeare’s London.  I, myself, have been doing some ‘adult’ reading, and haven’t been able to decide if I should bring up the possibility that Shakespeare possibly isn’t Shakespeare.  I’m just curious how Lia would take that bit of news.  But it’s probably unnecessary at this time.  Haha.

Their imaginary play is peppered with characters such as Olivia, Maria, Juliet, Romeo, and Viola.  There are even drawings of the inventive “Julia” Caesar (she’s a girl, apparently a cousin of Julius?).

Of course, after a morning of listening to the story of Saul/Paul on Adventures in Odyssey recordings, they were travelers to places like Tarsus and Damascus.  (And how could they kill Stephen just by throwing rocks?  That wouldn’t kill anybody!)

I rarely worry that my little girls aren’t learning enough.  At almost every point in the day, I can identify something that they are learning.  They spend almost an hour on the couch every morning “reading” while I clean up breakfast and make lunch.

<segue!>

It is infinitely easier to make lunch directly after breakfast for a number of reasons.  But it is currently most convenient because Levi is usually preoccupied with morning play.  Otherwise, the minute I begin to prepare a meal, he decides that he is perishing with hunger and must hang about in the kitchen (most often on my leg) with raised voice, wailing and lamenting his imminent demise if he doesn’t immediately get “noo-noos”.  (noodles = food)

I’ve been hit early with the second trimester nesting impulse.  Due to some events that made it necessary, closets are being organized (against our wills, Papa!  against our wills! ~Pirates of Penzance).  And I’ve been working on a number of projects, most notably upgrading our ghetto furniture into something with a little more beauty.

Very important in the last few weeks is that I have remained faithful to my New Year’s resolution to be more methodical.  Meals are still rather hit and miss, but I’ve made great HUGE strides in mess management.  Like, Gigantic.  I’ll tell you all about it soon.  I’m sure the method is here to stay, but it’s kind of silly to say “hey, this is a great way to do it, and I know because I’ve done it for two weeks!”.  That would be like those amazon reviewers who review the product BEFORE it arrives in the mail.

Lists and such

Either all of this planning and organizing I’ve been doing is going to pay off…or peter out.

Of course, my philosophy on list making is that it’s not really to tell me what to do exactly…but to straighten things out in my brain and give me direction and inspiration.

But, boy oh boy, wouldn’t my life be one smooth running operation if I followed my spreadsheet.  Because it morphed out of a list and into a spreadsheet.

And I laminated it.

I finally decided that yes, we would use a laminating machine, and purchased one this week.  And it’s so much fun, and so useful, it almost makes me giddy.  But maybe that’s the slight odor of hot plastic coming through the rollers that makes me giddy.

One of the first things I laminated were these handwriting sheets and lined paper for the girls.  They can trace their letters with a dry erase marker, erasing as needed/desired, then turn the page over to the blank lines and practice on their own.  It’s the most fun they’ve had with writing…I think it even beats writing letters in cornmeal on the kitchen counter.

Really my spreadsheet doesn’t contain much more than what usually happens.  It just adds a specific meal plan and some cleaning *cough* suggestions.  If it turns out to be brilliant, I’ll share it with you.  If it doesn’t, well…

 

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

I’m sorry I missed your call the other day.  I’m surprised I could even find the message, it was sandwiched in between about thirty five campaign calls.  I don’t know who they think they’re going to convince to vote for them by leaving those annoying messages.  I don’t think it shows good fiscal management to spend that much money to call people up, irritate them, and leave a recorded message.

We did indeed have piano lessons on Thursday.  And Mrs. Linette said the kindest things about Lia and her progress.  You know we had that Fall Recital on Sunday.  Lia dressed up as the Sugar Plum Fairy and played her little piece.  She didn’t play it as well as she usually did, but that didn’t seem to phase her.  It was a grand social event for her, making friends with the kids she was sitting next to, and then having a glorious post-recital romp with Ali and Micah and Amelie.  She informed me that she talked to her new friends during the whole recital.  At least, until she went to sit with Micah, who was ‘lonely’.

She got two new pieces at her lesson, Jingle Bells and The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.  I’m excited for both.  We’ve been working on her playing less tentatively and deeper in the keys, and I think she’ll get right into the spirit of things with Jingle Bells.  And then the Sugar Plum Fairy is pretty ‘difficult’ – for sure the most difficult piece she’s played yet.  She’s sight-reading so well now that the pieces she is assigned are not challenging…at least to read and get the basic idea.

Lia’s stretched up the last week or so.  Today she went around and showed me how tall she was – she could reach this or that.  Her head touches the roof of the car when she stands (not when she sits, she clarified).

And when she opened her mouth and peered inside this week, she discovered that she is getting molars, too!  Just like Levi!

So now Amelie’s mealtime prayers go thus ::

Dear Jesus, Thank You for the wonderful day!  Thank you for Lia’s teeth and Lia’s molars and Levi’s molars.  Amen.

And Amelie, of course, is sure that she is getting some new teeth, too.  Or perhaps has some wiggly teeth.

The girls have decided to study The Nutcracker Suite (hence the Sugar Plum Fairy stuff).  Interlibrary loans are the bomb.  (Did I just say “the bomb”?  I thought I swore in highschool that I would never say those two words in colloquial usage.  Well, as my Grandma always says, one shouldn’t swear.)  But our library system apparently doesn’t have a recording of the original score.  The closest I’ve found uses synthesizers behind the orchestra.  Very 90s.  Very disturbring.  I’m a purist.

But we also got an album from Beethoven’s Wig. I had seen the group mentioned on some blog some where some time in the recent past and snatched it up when I saw it in the online catalog.  It’s so fun – “sing a long symphonies” and other classics, all with singing words.  We have album 3 and the opening number is Carmen’s Toreador, entitled Bull in a China Shop. Hahahaha.

I finally, finally ordered and received the Math U See.  But Devo keeps thinking we’re talking about Matthew C.  (Who is that? he wonders.) Amelie loves to play with the manipulatives.  But maybe that is because all of their toys have been confiscated.

Yes, our first toy confiscation has occurred.

Friday we were working upstairs in the loft and the girls were playing with the kitchen toys, the dolls, and the doll clothes.  And when it was time to come downstairs, I asked them to clean up.  And then I asked them again.  And then, that was it. That was the end of this era of toy-picking-up-patterns.

Toy clean up has recently gone like this :

Me : Time to clean up the toys.

Me, five minutes later : Girls, it’s time to clean up the toys.

Me : Amelie, you clean up the books.  Lia, you clean up the dolls.

Lia, whining : Amelie isn’t helping.

Me : Amelie, please help.

Amelie : non-verbal declaration that she is NOT going to pick up the toys now.

Me : cajole, cajole

Lia : whine, whine (although, she does pick up the toys)

Amelie : lays on floor, possibly weeping and wailing

So I told them that they needed to clean up their toys without me saying any more about it.  And if they didn’t pick them up, Pappie and I would box up the toys and put them where they were not allowed to play with them.  And then I set a timer … they needed to start picking up before the timer went off.

And they both soberly and deliberately came downstairs, sat on the couch, and read books.  I would love to know if they had a conversation about this, or if it was an unspoken agreement on a selected course of action.

The timer went off, Devo and I picked up all the toys in the house, stowed them in the front room and closed the door.

And they haven’t said a word about it since.

Well, I take that back.  Amelie did mention the next morning that she missed having a snuggie.  And Lia told our friend Marni who came to babysit them Saturday night that their toys had been confiscated because they didn’t pick them up.

But that’s it.

Weird.

Ironically, the house is still the same amount of messy and cluttered.  So I guess I can’t blame it on the toys.  We didn’t give a timeline…I think we’ll wait until they ask for them and then sit down and talk about the privilege of playing with toys.  And the responsibilities that come with the privilege. And the expectations that exist in this home.

And in the meantime, I’m going to work on figuring out what on earth is making the mess if it isn’t the toys, and eliminating it.

Love!

Leilani

 

On the Threshold of Change

I’ve been thinking back over my tenure as a mother thus far and several distinct phases have emerged.  They are as follows ::

• The Big Shift
• The Difficult, Down and Dirty Training
• The Inner Landscape Years

The Big Shift was, of course, the shift from whoever-I-was-before to Stay-at-Home-Mom.

I was lost in a new and bewildering land.

After a lifetime of unknowingly placing my value in test scores, in projects completed, in goals reached, in money earned, in praise received, staying at home required a Big Shift in how I saw myself, and in where I garnered my sense of self-value.

It was a long and uncomfortable process.

I’m pleased to realize that I am truly finished with the Big Shift.  I know who I am in my present context, and what my value is, outside of a career, outside of academics.  Indeed, I’d probably be scared spitless to return to a scenario in which I must depend on other people’s valuation of my work.

Almost simultaneously with The Big Shift was the Difficult, Down, and Dirty Training.  It was a minimum of six months where I literally willed myself into basic housekeeping habits and consistent organization.  Flylady was my savior, my constant companion.

Then after awhile, washing the dishes and making the bed right away became habits, the sense of being adrift without outside structure and approval faded, and I entered into The Inner Landscape Years.

Three or four years.  One, two, three small children.  Life was invested in, life was infants, toddlers, preschoolers.

During that time I did an enormous amount of reading across a wide spectrum of subjects.  But due to (a) no venue for talking about it and (b) the inability to form complete sentences due to the manifestation of Mommy Brain, all that information and wisdom was locked up inside my head.  I would look at articulate, well-spoken 45 year old women and could only hope–Maybe that will be me someday.

But through all that reading, learning, and thinking, my Inner Landscape bloomed and blossomed.  Inside my head was a fascinating place to be, full of interesting and useful things.  Fascinating, but isolated.

And now, ah now. Now I believe we are on the threshold of change.

Lia is coming on towards six now, and the wideness of the world is opening up before her.  Our choice to be fully present in her journey of discovery is necessarily changing our family, changing our home, and changing my role here.

It’s early days, but I’m thinking that this next phase of my journey as a mother is going to involve Home in deeper, wider, more intricate ways.  My sense of home is expanding beyond shelter, beyond daily details. It’s as if the foundations have been set, and we’re ready to make something truly beautiful.

Homeschooling, Week 2

Today we bought a new printer.  I have been eyeing a laminating machine for several months, but have been unable to decide if I would truly use it to capacity.  (Greed or need?)  But I definitely need a working printer!

Our last printer still *kinda* works, but the ink cartridge had dried out.  Puzzling at first, as I had refilled it at Costco only a couple of months ago.  And then I remembered that the printer had been repurposed as an imaginary home for small figures.  It was the perfect size, and it had a door.  The ink cartridges had been removed to provide more head room for the occupying family.  Hence the dry cartridge.

But a new cartridge cost almost the same amount as a new *working* printer, so there you have it. We printed off some handwriting sheets to be used on the morrow. But they won’t be laminated.

I’m beginning to sketch in more definite scheduling ideas into our daily flow. There definitely aren’t enough hours in the day. But I kind of like it that way…keeps me from being overly ambitious.

I’ve been doing a little reading, a little research on philosophies and methods. I really do like Charlotte Mason . This approach uses lots and lots of reading, and often lets learning grow out of the stories. I especially like how the child ‘narrates’ what she can remember (has learned) from a reading.

Waldorf seems to be very art-oriented. It also seems to be complex, but I think there are some good concepts to utilize. I haven’t been able to find a site that has the Waldorf philosophy and method boiled down to my satisfaction – something to really chew on. But I do like how Waldorf encourages a lot of imaginary play (they don’t start ‘school’ until after 7), and how learning is intended to speak to the heart as well as the mind.

A Button String from the Banks of Plum Creek

First Day of First Grade

~Due to an unfortunate attack by small girls with squirt bottles, my keyboard (and therefore my computer) are currently unavailable.  We apologize for the delay in posting pictures.

The first day of first grade was a success.  A delightful hike, a couple of hours playing at the shore of the lake, the first entry made in their “school books”.

And, as always, a few choice quotes by our first grader ::

Lia :: Look, the ducks are pruning! (That would be preening).

………………………………………………………………………..

Lia :: Mommy, what are those butterflies doing?

Me :: I think they’re mating.

Lia :: It looks like fun.