It’s been a slow day here.  At least from my point of view-which is greatly influenced by the fogginess of tired-dom.  The girls came down with colds on Monday, and it has completely ruined the nice sleeping pattern Amelie was settling into.  She was only waking up at 2am and at 5, and it was so nice.  But now we’re back to waking up every two hours of so.  And it is not so nice.
So when she woke up at 10pm last night, right as I had settled under the covers and relaxed (how does she know?  She wakes up EVERY time I am on the verge of deep sleep), I thought that maybe the best, most reasonable course of action would be to let her work it out on her own.  After all, it had worked pretty well a few weeks ago.  Amelie doesn’t get out-of-control like Lia could.  And she doesn’t appreciate being patted when she wants to be picked up (she gets miffed that we would even offer such a sell-out).  So, sure, let’s give it a go…see if we can’t recover a good sleep pattern.
So she fussed for awhile, like she has before…and suddenly she kicked it into high gear.  She was MAD, like out-of-control mad.  And she was upset.  Those are two different things, you know.
And I was laying there thinking, Leilani, she’s six months old.  She has a limited number of resources for self-expression in this case.  Let’s see, she can cry, she can scream.  That’s about it.  And why would I let someone who is learning important things like acceptable forms of communication, self-control, and trust work herself into a frenzy that she is unable to calm herself from on her own?  Not to mention, my heart was breaking.  Isn’t it my job as her parent to help her, to allow her a certain range of experiences that are developmentally appropriate?
I had been seriously thinking about letting her just cry it out and learn to sleep all night, no matter what the cost.  But I was convicted (yes, convicted) that there are definite boundaries, and I need to be very sensitive to them.
So Devo and I hopped out of bed in one accord and rushed over and scooped up our poor little upset baby.  It took her several minutes of communion with her milk to recover.  It took Mommy about 20 minutes of communion with her sleeping baby to recover.
Surely God gave parents sensitive hearts to help guide our parenting.
Anyhow, we’ll see how tonight goes.  After all that, I’m still willing to let her try to work it out on her own.  But I will be listening very carefully to what she’s saying.


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