Mishmash & Lia learns about death

So I just lost about half an hour’s worth of blogging because my computer just shut off. This new blog post will be much shorter and to the point. I don’t know if that is to your benefit or your loss…

We did two special things today–we played shopping and we went to the park. We set up the play food on different pieces of furniture and Lia drove her shopping cart around and “shopped” at Target (the white couch) or Costco (the big couch) or Stater Bros (the table). Then she paid me (I was “the lady”) with coins from her purse. It was lots of fun. Amelie enjoyed eating the play food. In the afternoon we walked all the way to the little park on Riverwalk. On the way there we met Carmen who abandoned whatever plans she had, parked her car, and went with us. We fed the ducks, I got bit by a goose (the white one is the ornery one, beware!), and we played at the park. Score points for my newest resolution!

Also in honor of my current focus on orienting my life children-wards (versus me-wards), I wore my “Children are My Priority” pin today. (Thank you Janeen!) I heard somewhere that if you say something out loud, it is more likely to come true. So at random points in the day you can hear me saying/muttering/hollering things like
CHILDREN ARE MY PRIORITY!!!
THERE IS ONLY A LITTLE WHILE THAT THEY WILL WANT TO BE WHERE I AM AND DO WHAT I AM DOING!!
YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I AM DOING TODAY!!

My personal favorite, in times of great need for various fruits of the Spirit, is YOU ARE NOT INTERRUPTING ME!! I figure if I say it enough times, it will come true. And it seems to be working after only a week. It would really simplify my existence if I could get my actions and re-actions to line up with my philosophies and deeply held beliefs.

To keep myself inspired, I just keep thinking of Edna and how when my children peek their heads in her office door, she immediately turns away from whatever she is doing and opens her arms and focuses all of her love and attention and enthusiasm on them. That’s what I want to be!

Our friend Tim’s mother died on Friday night. When we told Lia about it, her face became very concerned. After a few moments she said, “Poor Barbara”. (This is funny in a funny sort of way because Barbara is Tim’s wife, not his mother. She thought it was Barbara who had died. Lia hasn’t yet grasped the difference between husband and wife and mother and father. To her, any woman is a Mommy and any man is a Pappie).

This is Lia’s first experience with death, far-removed though it is, and it has been fascinating watching her try to process and understand it. She has been most concerned about Tim, and her conversations have pretty much followed this pattern: “Poor Tim. His wi…his wi…his mother died. Tim is sad? Barbara is sad? Tim’s mother died. She was sick and old. Jesus died on the cross. He’s alive again? Poor Grandma Bobo (my great-grandmother). She died. She was sick and old? Poor Grandma Bobo. When Jesus comes, she’s alive again?”

I’m not so sure that the concept of the resurrection is going to be an easy one. Not the being alive again part…that’s totally believable to a little somebody who’s experience with death is limited to bugs. It’s the WHEN that is confusing. To Lia, almost everything happened ‘last weekend’. Past, present, and future are very fuzzy and often interchangable. How then does it work if someone is alive, and then they die, and then they will be alive again??? Then they would be alive now? Hehe. You see the problem.

I didn’t even touch the “sleeping” part. We’ll wait until a later developmental stage.

I’m thinking that my mom had the right idea in exposing me to death, grief, and funerals from a very young age. It’s always terrible, but it is a part of life. I had something really profound to say about this in my lost blog post, but I can’t remember any of it other than the term “faith-context”. Oh well.

My cousin Lea is coming to visit on Friday. I have been tearing our house apart and rearranging everything now that Amelie is crawling (everything needs to move UP!), but I haven’t gotten it put back yet. I REALLY want to have a clean house to show off when she comes, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. I’m going to sacrifice my pride for my children’s sake. Better a sane and present mommy than a clean house. Sounds like a mantra to add to the above list.

Today I celebrated my freedom the tyranny of accomplishing items on a list by writing love notes in the dust on my shelf.

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One thought on “Mishmash & Lia learns about death

  1. Pingback: Death, Round 2 « spinning in my teacup

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