Weird Things

This week has had a variety of weird things.

Yesterday, my wanna-be-lover already-married-to-someone-else old-enough-to-be-my-father sicko who has been coming on to me since I was in college made another move.

I suppose it was “my fault” because I almost made eye contact and I spoke directly to him.  I said, in a not-particularly-interested voice, “You’ve made it for the last two minutes.”  Referring to the meeting he was entering at literally the last two minutes.

Which gave him full permission to step forward and caressingly brush the hair off of my face. Touching my cheek in the process.

PUKE.  GROSS.  EWWWWWW.

And in front of a bunch of people, too!  See, I’m always taken aback so I’m never ready to fire off one of my well-rehearsed come backs.  Like, “DON’T TOUCH ME” or “THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR” or “DON’T EVER EVER DO THAT (or say that) AGAIN.”

Because generally I take serious precautions.  I go the other way when I see him coming.  I NEVER make eye contact.  If he speaks directly to me, I hmm non-commitally and beat a fast exit, even mid-sentence.  I don’t even speak to the people around him, since the time a few years ago I went to greet his teenage son and he had the audacity to call me “eye candy” four times within 1 minute…in front of his son.

Sick-o.

Maybe I should take up karate.  A swift kick to the shins should do the trick.  Or what was the Miss Congeniality trick?  Foot, abdomen, neck, groin.  I don’t remember.

And the other weird thing that has happened this week is that I’ve been craving meat.  The intense craving has subsided now, blessedly.  But for a number of nights I laid awake thinking lovingly and longingly about chicken.  Roast chicken.  Burger King chicken sandwiches.  Juicy chicken breasts.  And steak.  And beef bowl.  And Carl Buddig beef slices.  And pastrami.  And I almost cried to think that I will not have Thanksgiving turkey this year, yet again.  A whole lifetime ahead of me with no Thanksgiving turkey.  And no post-Thanksgiving turkey sandwiches.

I’ve been a vegetarian for over ten years.  I stopped craving these things at least three years ago. I thought I was over this.

Somehow beans and grains and vegemeat and gluten just don’t cut it sometimes.

But now it’s over, and the thought of putting an animal’s flesh inside my mouth and chewing it has lost most of its attraction. Now I just salivate at the thought of meat, but I don’t actually want to put it in my mouth.

Except the Thanksgiving turkey.

I’m chalking it up to serious pregnancy protein needs.   Which apparently I’m meeting as I am no longer dreaming of pot roast. Or beef stew.

Tonight’s dinner was a delicious bulgur-black bean salad (with cucumbers, cilantro, tomatoes, and avocado…seasoned with salt, pepper, and apple cider vinegar)…how’s that for a complete protein?  I do wish, however, that I didn’t finish those white bread rolls last night.  Ooh, how I’d love one with butter before I fall into bed.  But white bread doesn’t have very much protein.  I guess I’ll have to settle for a glass of soymilk.

woohoo.

Hey, in other news, I bought a table for our kitchen today.  It’s a cute, low, solid wood, dark brown, round table.  I got it at Community Services for only FIVE DOLLARS.  Thanks Onalea!  Now I need some chairs.

AND, I got winter vegetables for the garden, as my transplants died before they lived.  Broccoli, bok choy, green onions, celery, cabbage, lettuce.  And pansies.  And heliotope.  (Is it tope or trope?)  I’m trying to get a flowering perennial at every trip to the nursery.  My garden needs more permanent plants.

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Weird Things

  1. I think it’s definitely a pregnancy thing. When I was pregnant with Emma I craved a steak – keep in mind I don’t eat any kind of red meat whatsoever. Never have. I finally satiated the craving with Biltong. Which I don’t really eat either – except when I’m pregnant evidently.
    As for the Miss Congeniality thing – It’s SING – should be easy enough to remember. 🙂
    Solarplexes, Instep, Neck,(I think) and Groin. But I think you just go for a swift kick anywhere. Ick, ick, icky old man!
    Now if only I could remember why I had to go to the kitchen.

  2. I’m hungry now. My raging appetite has been provoked yet again. Food is the only thing running through my mind after reading this post. Off to search for something yummy……

  3. I used to love to go to Community Services to find “good deals”. I did! I have not gone in a looong time. I am so glad that you were able to find the table! Cool!

  4. The N is for Nose. Which I only know because Miss Congeniality was playing the last time JB had duty. 🙂 And I’m pretty sure its heliotrope. I love the smell! Not that I can ever remember the name when I’m talking about it…I just refer to the pretty purple vanilla plant. 🙂

  5. Grab him by the wrist and flip him down on his knees with his hand bent back and look him in the eye and tell him if he ever so much as gets within 1 or 2 feet of you again, you will severely harm his manhood permanently. Or send me his email address and I will write him a “friendly note” about appropriate behavior!

  6. Pingback: 16 Weeks, an avocado and a turkey « spinning in my teacup

  7. Pingback: Cleaning Out the Files « spinning in my teacup

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s