36 weeks, almost 4 weeks later

*Another evidence of the technological hold-up I’m mixed up in.  Here is a post I wrote almost a month ago, but due to inadequate access to working technology, it’s been sitting around in the draft file.  So here’s what I was thinking…a while ago.  (next up, baby news!)

Here I’ve been traipsing along, pretending I’m still in mid-second trimester.  And then Saturday, BAM, The End hit with a vengeance.  At first I chalked it up to too much heat and a long day.  But then I needed a nap on Sunday (still managing to fall into bed “early” and sleep like the dead) and again on Monday, and again on Tuesday…well, you can’t ignore the signs.

Signs like increased Braxton Hicks.  Fake-o contractions.

Or the baby beginning The Descent and all the odd and imminent sensations that go with it.  Only to pop back up this morning and give me some relief.  If Baby keeps this up, I’m naming it Bob.  (As in, bobbing up and down).

I’ve been feeling very cute with my round little belly and mourning the fact that no one has taken pictures of it.  So Amelie took one, just for documentation purposes.  I especially like my little belly button.

I hope to get a few more (and better ones, with better hair) before I get to the feeling-like-a-large-blimp stage.

{And no, I was not mopping the floor.  The chairs get routinely stacked on the table as soon as they are vacated or a very small someone hijacks them and uses them to get into all sorts of unauthorized hijinks.}

I’ve finally made a few ‘special’ things for the baby.  Booties, mostly.  The girl ones are just darling.

I’m making slow progress with my labor anxiety.  First I determined to savor every bit of this…this which may very well be the very last.

And when the savoring runs thin, I think of this awesome homebirth video where the mother is laboring and birthing twins (one unexpectedly a footling breech) unassisted…and at one point she finishes groaning through a contraction then looks up and says, “This is so f*$@* amazing!”  What a great attitude towards nature’s awesome birthing process.  (And then she apologizes, mid-labor, for using profanity, haha).

And when I’m too tired to muster up Gung-Ho, I turn to some of my favorite hypnobirthing videos.  The peacefulness, the centeredness, the inward turning.  I used this method with Levi, and while I didn’t experience an absence of pain, I spent most of my 7 hour labor like these videos show, peaceful and present.  This time I’d like to release myself from judging the presence of pain, to even more fully go along with the process for what it is, not for what a method said it should be.

But we’ll see, won’t we?


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