hi guys

On October 1 I took a rash step and declared that October would be 31 days of Listening to My Own Voice.  It was most definitely a spur of the moment, un-premeditated decision.  And obviously unannounced.  I just disappeared from the online world.  <poof>

Sorry about that.

I had just gotten to a place where I was feeling addicted to blogs, to a daily deluge of inspiration, to my phone (the portal into the wonderful and weird world of the internet).  That morning I read something that completely shifted how I thought of myself, just from reading someone else’s words, and I decided enough!  I need to know what I think instead of what everyone else thinks.  I need to know what’s happening in my life and home, not in everyone else’s.  I need to dwell in this world – the present, 3D, tangible, real world – not a screen world.

So I left.

And it was weird.  And somewhat disturbing.  And illuminating.  And I think I’m a better person for it and a more responsible internet-er.

And yes, it’s now December.

Thank you to all of you dear friends who have mentioned my absence here.  I feel loved and appreciated and affirmed that I have something unique to offer.

So, to bring you up to speed on what’s been going on here in the meantime…

Kiri is almost five months and a darling darling little baby.  Levi started potty training just about the time we started homeschooling.  Note to self : bad timing.  Amelie has suddenly become almost five, instead of pudgy four.  And Lia has learned to ride her bike.  She also turned 7.  A long, leggy 7.

I love my kids.  What more, I like them.  Lucky me to spend my days with my favorite people.

I’m shifting my homeschool approach towards a model of classical education and so far, loving it.

My mom and sister came for a visit over Thanksgiving (getting in Lia’s birthday, the birthday party, and a recital to boot).  It’s not often you wish hard for something unattainable and it comes true. And they’re coming back in June, glory.

I’ve been going through a renaissance of sorts.  Kind of an inner Fruit Basket Upset.  Everything is up for grabs.

It’s like I’ve got all my ducks in a row and now I’m going back to my ‘coming of age’ revelations and dusting them off, reexamining them, trying them on for size.  A bit unsettling, but fun.  (Welcome to my 30s!)

A side effect of said experience is that I’ve been feeling very vulnerable.  Trying to embrace this instead of feeling…well, vulnerable about it.

Just as a glimpse of how this whole shebang goes, last night I realized that I would really really like to take flamenco lessons.  I’d like to be intense and stomp my feet and wear a beautiful dress that I swish and swoop.  I told Devo this morning  that I feel I would be a better person if I took flamenco lessons.  (Poor guy, he never knows what’s coming next).

Now, in previous years, I would have chosen the graceful, beautiful, serene, soft hula as my dance of choice.  I think this might be a foretelling of the next stage of my personal development.  More vigor, more fire.

<stomp, swish> (with red lipstick)

Then again, maybe not.

But I think so.


4 thoughts on “hi guys

  1. Definitely red 4 inch heals to boot! Stomp, swish, with a gorgeous red rose but clenched in your teeth.

    Come on 30’s, she’s ready to attack with vim and vigor (definitely pronounced “vigah”)

    Such fun, creative, individualist children, no wonder you enjoy spending time with them! ( And NEVER forgetting your wonderful, loving, supportive, FUN husband!)

  2. Aha. I have much to look forward to in this next decade of self-discovery. Post a video when you do get that swishy dress and stomping feet. 🙂 I LOVE hearing about your life and your family and your homeschooling and your self-discoveries.

  3. SO glad to see you’re back. Thought I had missed out on the notifications, somehow. Great to take a break, especially if you’re feeling addicted. I did that with T.V. Sometimes I feel I need to do that with internet, too. Makes me want to not get an i-phone etc, or I’ll never be offline But then again, maybe I could control it?? Hmmm, doubt it.

  4. Glad you are back. Boy, what you say has been niggling in the back of my mind for awhile…. Experience the real life instead of the virtual one. Read to my kids instead of seeing what everyone else is doing. Thanks for the reminder, Leilani.

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