Fear happens

We were in a car accident yesterday.

First and most importantly, we’re all okay.

It was a fender bender (or, a back door bender and fender knicker, as the case was).

I was driving us (all) home from the grocery store and BAM, we got hit from behind.

It wasn’t that big of a deal.  Nobody cried except Kiri, who was woken up by the crash.  I didn’t cry, not even later, and I always expected to cry after a car accident.  Maybe it’s because it wasn’t my fault, so there was no sense of personal responsibility and chagrin.  But I promise you I WILL cry when I get my first ticket.

45 minutes later we were on our way home again with a police report to unload groceries and make dinner.  Like usual.

I like usual.

It just made me think about fear and how much I am afraid.  (I am afraid a lot).

About how many times I look around and think, “Tragedy could strike in this ordinary instant and everything would change.” (I think that a lot).

About how I don’t like for anyone to go out the door without saying good bye and I love you because, well…

So many blessedly ordinary moments are tainted with fear of the “what if”.

Fear.  Imagine a life without fear.  Or with less fear.  Or with fear that can be met head on and calmed instead of niggling and irritating and dimming present joys.  Something to work on.

 

On a related note :

I’ve been reading and rereading a book entitled Happiness is an Inside Job: Practicing for a Joyful Life by Sylvia Boorstein.  It’s been really interesting and also very helpful for dealing with feelings and thoughts and confusion and fear.  I love the blessings.  I’m eager to go back and listen to her interview again now that I’ve read one of her books.

 

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4 thoughts on “Fear happens

  1. I can so totally relate to the fear thoughts!! You are not alone, my friend. 🙂 ❤ The good news is that one day we won't have to fear anymore (at the 2nd coming, but I'm sure you already knew that).
    I'm so sorry to hear about the accident, but I'm sure glad you're all ok!

  2. Pingback: Jinx, Need Exercise, the String Bean | spinning in my teacup

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